Things that won't matter in 50 years....
My grandmother, who just celebrated her 93rd birthday this year, once said to me, "ah, little one, none of this stuff is going to matter in 50 years". At the time, it didn't make a whole lot of sense to me. My children were young, my husband and I as teenage parents were struggling to provide for ourselves just the basic necessities, and plainly her advice did not seem to fit my situation. I thought, "but Gramma, it matters NOW'. I couldn't see past the circumstance I was in.
This week while I was in my garage, pondering how I was going to manage to work over 40 hours a week outside my home, run household errands, prepare meals, keep the floors swept and get all 20 loads of laundry done, Gramma’s wisdom returned to me. My grandmother has lived through what folks our age have only read about in history books. Born during the First World War, she has lived through all the wars that followed, economic recessions and depressions, segregation then desegregation, witnessed various civil rights and suffrage movements…. All of these things did change the face of our world. In essence, my grandmother, if anyone, really does know what will and what will not matter in 50 years.
While I stood knee high in dirty laundry on my garage floor pondering over all these thoughts, my 18 year old daughter stepped in. She did not offer her help with the laundry, nor the dishes, nor the cleaning; instead she had this silly notion of wanting to spend a few hours at the beach with her mother. I initially sloughed off her silly notion of wanting to enjoy the day giving her suggestions of who else may be interested in going to the beach; people with less responsibilities and more time. It was only after she walked away that I came to the realization my daughter, my baby, the reason in part I do these labors of love for, was 18 years old. How many more days am I going to have to go to the beach with her before she has too many responsibilities of her own? Gramma’s words came rushing over me again and they now made total sense to me.
Will it matter in 50 years that my laundry took a week to do rather than a day?
Will it matter in 50 years if I stay inside on the perfect summer’s day to clean out my refrigerator?
Will it matter in 50 years if I didn’t spend every moment I could with my daughter?
Needless to say, we went to the beach that day. It was only for a few hours and I am sure the trip was not among the most memorable ones of our lives. I don’t think she will be telling my grandchildren about it, but my hope is that she will be telling them about how much she knew her mother loved her; that I have somehow showed her how to unselfishly love someone through the sacrifices I have made for her, both large and small, and when she needed me I was there for her.
We all have responsibilities, commitments, and demands that are placed on us throughout our lives. Some of them will impact history and some just simply will not. I want the legacy I leave my children to be the belief of balance and moderation in all we do; remembering that when you set your priorities everyday to make sure you aren’t so busy being busy that you haven’t included time for your loved ones.
My grandmother, who just celebrated her 93rd birthday this year, once said to me, "ah, little one, none of this stuff is going to matter in 50 years". At the time, it didn't make a whole lot of sense to me. My children were young, my husband and I as teenage parents were struggling to provide for ourselves just the basic necessities, and plainly her advice did not seem to fit my situation. I thought, "but Gramma, it matters NOW'. I couldn't see past the circumstance I was in.
This week while I was in my garage, pondering how I was going to manage to work over 40 hours a week outside my home, run household errands, prepare meals, keep the floors swept and get all 20 loads of laundry done, Gramma’s wisdom returned to me. My grandmother has lived through what folks our age have only read about in history books. Born during the First World War, she has lived through all the wars that followed, economic recessions and depressions, segregation then desegregation, witnessed various civil rights and suffrage movements…. All of these things did change the face of our world. In essence, my grandmother, if anyone, really does know what will and what will not matter in 50 years.
While I stood knee high in dirty laundry on my garage floor pondering over all these thoughts, my 18 year old daughter stepped in. She did not offer her help with the laundry, nor the dishes, nor the cleaning; instead she had this silly notion of wanting to spend a few hours at the beach with her mother. I initially sloughed off her silly notion of wanting to enjoy the day giving her suggestions of who else may be interested in going to the beach; people with less responsibilities and more time. It was only after she walked away that I came to the realization my daughter, my baby, the reason in part I do these labors of love for, was 18 years old. How many more days am I going to have to go to the beach with her before she has too many responsibilities of her own? Gramma’s words came rushing over me again and they now made total sense to me.
Will it matter in 50 years that my laundry took a week to do rather than a day?
Will it matter in 50 years if I stay inside on the perfect summer’s day to clean out my refrigerator?
Will it matter in 50 years if I didn’t spend every moment I could with my daughter?
Needless to say, we went to the beach that day. It was only for a few hours and I am sure the trip was not among the most memorable ones of our lives. I don’t think she will be telling my grandchildren about it, but my hope is that she will be telling them about how much she knew her mother loved her; that I have somehow showed her how to unselfishly love someone through the sacrifices I have made for her, both large and small, and when she needed me I was there for her.
We all have responsibilities, commitments, and demands that are placed on us throughout our lives. Some of them will impact history and some just simply will not. I want the legacy I leave my children to be the belief of balance and moderation in all we do; remembering that when you set your priorities everyday to make sure you aren’t so busy being busy that you haven’t included time for your loved ones.
posted by manders @ 3:31 PM
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